Christmas Canceled Christmas, normally scheduled for this time, will not take place this year, for the following reasons: Joseph has been called-up for military service; Mary is doing volunteer work for the Red Cross; the inn, stable, and manger have all become targets; baby Jesus has been sent into the countryside with other children to avoid the bombing; the three Wise Men could not get travel visas because they lacked proof of Aryan origin; the precious gifts have been confiscated to finance the war; there will be no guiding star because of the black-out; the shepherds have all been made into sentries; the angels have all become signal communication operators. Only the donkey is left ... and we cannot have Christmas for just an ass!

[nb: Soviet intelligence appended the following querulous annotation to this intercept: "I do not understand – what does this mean? Where did this come from? What will they do?"]