A Suitable Candidate for Officer's Candidate School
If your formative years were strictly structured for
sadomasochism ...
if you believe in penitential karmic punishment for past
infractions, omissions, and inadequacies ...
if your idea of a good time is traumatic survival
...
if all your social skills have atrophied from neglect ...
if you think sleep deprivation and malnutrition
are normal human conditions ...
if you think fear and trembling is an existential
performance art ...
if you think self improvement and career
development are mutually exclusive ...
if you believe that sublimating rage and postponing
hostility is a useful strategic formula ...
if you think preoccupation and distraction are
prerequisites for cognition ...
if you think that constructive criticism is an oxymoron
...
if you thrive on stress and anxiety ...
if your sense of humor is warped, sick, or perverted ...
if you think abusive is a synonym for
stimulating ...
if you believe the lowest common denominator referent is
an invitation to elitist collusion ...
if you won an award for marathon floating in a cesspool without
drinking or drowning ...
If you believe that attention deficit disorder is an
inability to lock one's body into unconscious rigidity ...
if you believe that pathological fixation is a
code-phrase for studying ...
if you can jump through your own asshole ...
then you may be a suitable candidate
for
Officer's Candidate School
... commonly known as Organized Chicken Shit!
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