The Twelve Days of Field Ex
adapted from Maggie Wang and Eileen Yazzie
- On the first day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the second day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the third day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the fourth day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the fifth day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
five cartons of yummy MREs,
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the sixth day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
six straight days of KP,
five cartons of yummy MREs,
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the seventh day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
seven guard points sleeping,
six straight days of KP,
five cartons of yummy MREs,
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the eighth day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
eight stressed-out sergeants screaming,
seven guard points sleeping,
six straight days of KP,
five cartons of yummy MREs,
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the ninth day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
nine overloaded HMMWVs in a convoy,
eight stressed-out sergeants screaming,
seven guard points sleeping,
six straight days of KP,
five cartons of yummy MREs,
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the tenth day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
ten official changes to the S-3 plan,
nine overloaded HMMWVs in a convoy,
eight stressed-out sergeants screaming,
seven guard points sleeping,
six straight days of KP,
five cartons of yummy MREs,
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the eleventh day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
eleven million dollars of DX weapons and equipment,
ten official changes to the S-3 plan,
nine overloaded HMMWVs in a convoy,
eight stressed-out sergeants screaming,
seven guard points sleeping,
six straight days of KP,
five cartons of yummy MREs,
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- On the twelfth day of the FX,
the Army gave to me:
twelve privates whining,
eleven million dollars of DX weapons and equipment,
ten official changes to the S-3 plan,
nine overloaded HMMWVs in a convoy,
eight stressed-out sergeants screaming,
seven guard points sleeping,
six straight days of KP,
five cartons of yummy MREs,
four moldy tents,
three rank-specific Port-a-Potties,
two duffel bags full of gear,
and hour after hour of briefings without any sleep!
- In every way it was an ordinary and entirely normal Field
Ex, and the Army judged it a success!
All the lifers got their tickets punched, and
everybody else made plans to become civilians in the real
world, where (they will learn) things are actually much
worse!
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