Combat Briefing Badge
adapted from a composition by Michael J. Harris (June 2006)
News Update: Army Unveils New Award
Subject: Combat Briefing Badge (CBB)
The U.S. Army has recognized the need for an award for military
personnel assigned to headquarters units during combat
operations, and has been approved this date to authorize the
issuance of the Combat Briefing Badge (CBB) as a
new award to select individuals serving in critical assignments.
"Most people don't realize that being in a major headquarters can
be just as stressful as going on patrols or convoys," said MAJ
John Remf. "When you're briefing that many General officers, your
career can end in a heartbeat. And it can happen to anyone at any
time ... not just to Combat Arms soldiers." Department of Defense
(DoD) statistics note that Combat Support (CSS) personnel are
more likely to suffer career-ending incidents in rear areas than
Combat Arms (CA) soldiers. "This just reflects that reality,"
said Pentagon spokesman LTC Roger Pogue.
"I've seen these kids sweat bullets, slog through mountains of
paperwork, defend the exposed edge of a data link," said BG Binky
Doofus, "so our acknowledgement of their sacrifice is long
overdue." "It takes real guts to try to explain the reality of
what's happening outside to some super-starched guys locked down
inside an air-conditioned bunker," said SPC Irving Goldbrick,
"believe you me, 'cause I have to clean the latrine afterwards!"
CW3 Wallah Wonk, an intelligence analyst, commented that "With
this kind of recognition, the unsung heroes who labor tirelessly
in the depths of every staff office from battalion to corps may
soon earn a Purple Heart for carpal tunnel syndrome." "This award
will restore the prestige of headquarters personnel," said MSG
Bean Counter, who is renown for the speed and accuracy of his map
pointer. He went on to complain that "We used to be ashamed of
coffee stains and grease pencil smudges on our uniforms, but now
we will wear them with pride."
The new CBB award ranks in precedence below the Combat Affairs
Badge (CAB) and the Contaminated Messhall Badge (CMB), but above
the Expert Interrupter Badge (EIB) and the PowerPoint Ranger tab.
Criteria for the award is still under discussion, but preliminary
guidance authorizes the award for thirty (30) days of continuous
briefings of officers at least two grades higher than the briefer
without incident while serving in a theater of operations in
which the awardee is also eligible for hostile environment and
hazardous duty pay.