Warriors Getting into Heaven – It's as Simple as 2 + 2
America is fighting another war somewhere in the world, so four
young warriors report to the Pearly Gates for admission into
Heaven, whereupon they encounter Saint Peter and a Guardian Angel
standing sentry.
Saint Peter explained that they must answer a simple question
before they'd be allowed to pass through the barrier.
When the first warrior approached the Gates, Saint Peter asked,
"What is two plus two?"
The first warrior answers, "Three."
Saint Peter replies, "No."
"Five."
"No."
"Four."
"Yes," responded Saint Peter, "in you go."
Then the second warrior approached the Gates, and Saint Peter
asked, "What is two plus two?"
The second warrior answers, "The square root of sixteen."
Very impressed, Saint Peter waves him through the Pearly Gates.
Then the third warrior approached the Gates, and Saint Peter
asked, "What is two plus two?"
The third warrior answers, "It's greater than two ...."
"Yes," encouraged Saint Peter.
"... but less than six."
"Yes," encouraged Saint Peter.
"It's greater than three ...."
"Yes," encouraged Saint Peter.
"... but less than five."
"Yes," encouraged Saint Peter.
"It's four," asserted the third warrior.
"Well done," replied Saint Peter, "in you go."
Then the fourth warrior approached the Gates, and Saint Peter
asked, "What is two plus two?"
The fourth warrior responded, "Five, arrrghh!" – and
without waiting for either an acknowledgement or permission, he
barges through the Pearly Gates into Heaven.
After observing all of this, the Guardian Angel asks Saint Peter,
"What was that all about?"
"It's really pretty simple – those four warriors were
killed in the latest fighting, but they were from different
branches."
"How could you tell?" inquired the Angel sentry.
"The first soldier was an Army tanker; he may lack intelligence
and finesse, but he's determined, persistent, and relentless,
which are all finer traits."
"The second soldier was a combat engineer, who provided more
information than was required, but thank God for their ability
and willingness to share their skills."
"The third soldier was an artilleryman, who was uncomfortable
with a firm answer unless it had been derived by bracketing onto
the correct target."
"But what about the fourth soldier who charged in despite giving
the wrong answer?" inquired the Guardian Angel.
"Ah, yes," said a bemused Saint Peter. "He was an Airborne Ranger
Infantryman – rude and crude and dumber than dirt! –
But you've just got to love them anyway!"
"What would we do without warriors who hammer away until they get
through?!"
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