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As Head of the Division of Provision for Revision

by George S. Patton Jr.


    As Head of the Division of Provision for Revision
    Was a man of prompt decision -- Morton Quirk.
    Ph.D. in Calisthenics, P. D. Q. in Pathogenics
    He has just the proper background for the work.

    From the pastoral aroma of Aloma, Oklahoma
    With a pittance of a salary in hand
    His acceptance had been whetted, even aided and abetted
    By emolument that netted some five grand.

    So, with energy ecstatic this fanatic left his attic
    And hastened on to Washington, D.C.
    Where with verve and vim and vigor, he went hunting for the Nigger
    In the woodpile of the W. P. B.

    After months of patient process Morton's picular proboscis
    Had unearthed a reprehensible hiatus
    In reply by Blair and Blair to his thirteenth questionnaire
    In connection with their inventory status.

    They had written -- 'Your directive when effective was defective
    'In its ultimate objective -- and what's more
    'Neolithic hieroglyphic is, to us, much more specific
    'Than the drivel you keep dumping at our door.'

    This sacrilege discovered, Morton fainted -- but recovered
    Sufficiently to write, 'We are convinced
    'That sabotage is camouflaged behind perverted persiflage.
    'Expect me on the 22nd inst.'

    But first he sent a checker, then he sent a checker's checker
    Still nothing was disclosed as being wrong.
    So a checker's checker's checker came to check the checker's checker
    And the process was laborious and long.

    Then followed a procession of the follow-up profession
    Through the records of the firm of Blair and Blair.
    From breakfast until supper some new super-follow-upper
    Tore his hair because of Morton's questionnaire.

    The file is closed, completed, though our Hero, undefeated
    Carries on in some Department as before.
    And Vict'ry is in sight of -- not because of -- but in spite of
    Doctor Morton's mighty efforts in the war.





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