Where you go
When your mind has no place else to go
To survive is the key.
As cool as the deepest ocean
And as black as the night sky above.
It focuses my mind
And channels all my energy toward its goal.
This is the Void
The heat of the moment is gone now,
The white-hot all consuming fury
That it was has turned.
It has become something else.
It is the Void
The tears have dried.
The wailing has ceased.
Pain has no sway where I have gone.
I am the Void
The emotions of what was,
Are no more.
For in my mind is this place
I call my own.
For this is the Void
And this is my home.
Not all that have made the trip
Have been able to come back again.
Their minds are lost
In their places of sanctuary
From what they have seen
Or have been forced to do.
And though to the uninitiated
They might seem lost
To what we call this world,
They are home.
Safe.
Locked into their own minds
Away from what has been.
For this is the Void.
These are the lucky ones.
There are others
Who experience the Void
And willingly turn themselves over to it,
Releasing all that makes them human
Except for their blood and bones.
They are the ones who are cursed.
They are the ones who live for the battle
So they can feel emotion.
Any kind of emotion.
The thrill of the kill.
The Void can and will give you
The strength and endurance to carry on
With almost any task,
Carrying the person
Who knows how to use it
To almost super human goals.
But in the course of things
We all get tired.
And this is when,
If we're not careful,
It will take control.
The coolness of spirit,
The narrowing of vision
Can be a nightmare when unleashed,
For death is the only way
To stop it when it is out of control.
The shaking
And the loss of memory
Of what has gone before.
Those lost moments
Forever a black hole in your life.
Time that is lost but not forgotten,
Forever on your mind
Because you want to know
But are afraid to know.
You have seen the aftermath,
Standing there and shaking uncontrollably,
The visions you carry away from it
To last your lifetime,
With just the bits and pieces
Coming back to you in your dreams
While you are sleeping,
Or maybe when your mind is just drifting ....
Over the years
I have been able to tame that
Which is inside of me;
To bite deep into that
Which I call my soul;
To not bury it,
Because it has become a part of who I am,
But to take control
Of when it does come out.
For though I pray
I may never need it again,
In my heart of hearts
I'll never know.
It is my safe place,
A place I call my home.
by Rick Heuer/Knapp
... who is a veteran and freelance writer, whose work has
appeared previously in this magazine.